3 AM hangout session.

Elijah. All dressed up!

Update

I am having a really hard time thinking about weeks 30 and 31 for this recap because my mind is so blown that we reached 32 weeks today! Go team Eli!!!

Mary and Eli are doing very well. Mary has been surviving the bed rest with only a few down times here and there. Eli is now 4 pounds 6 ounces and is measuring 10 days ahead. So I guess you could say he is advanced for his age. :)

Super Aunt and Wonder Mom

Over the last month or so I have been trying to work on getting our house in better shape and get the nursery all put together. I have to say it has been a struggle. I now have so much more understanding of what a single parent would go through when trying to combine working a full time job, taking care of someone who can’t help and keeping a house in order. I have achieved keeping the chaos at bay and making sure that Mary is pampered during her bed rest, but that is about it. The rest of the upstairs was in horrible terrible no good dirty rotten shape.

I got a email from my Mom telling me that she and my Aunt Jean would be coming up and helping clean the house. When they arrived to do the cleaning however, my Mom’s arm was in a brace and she could do next to nothing with it. At this point my expectations shifted and I assumed a lot less would get done during the visit than I had planned out on paper. Well, I shouldn’t have underestimated my Mom’s one good arm and my Aunt Jean’s Energizer Bunny cleaning mode.

They went to town cleaning the kitchen, bathrooms, bedroom and Nursery. Everything is now spotless. At one point I found my Aunt Jean almost INSIDE the refrigerator scraping at a stubborn spot with a SPOON.

The nursery now is organized and almost completely baby ready. If you look in our fridge, you can see straight through the glass shelves to what is beneath! I had almost forgotten they were made of glass at all and now they sparkle and shine.

A huge thank you to my Mom and Aunt Jean for their work. There is still plenty to be done to get the house in order before Eli’s arrival, but now at least the big stuff is out of the way and I can see it all coming together. What a great family I have!

Drop7

Our friend Shelley introduced Mary to a game on the iPhone called “Drop7.” Mary at first didn’t understand the concept but after I led her through how it worked she started to play it religiously. I now hear her from time to time yelling at the game for giving her too many 1’s or yelling at herself for making a mistake and costing herself the game. Drop7 will go down in history as being one of the saving graces that got my Mary through the latter part of her bed rest.

Writing

This has nothing whatsoever to do with the baby, but I have started writing again as my creative outlet. A novel is underway and is scheduled for release sometime after 2036. I am giving myself this deadline so I can keep on track and make sure it gets done. All joking aside, I am writing a Scifi/Fantasy book and am pretty excited about it. More to come later on this but most likely not here on Baby Coaster.

Shower/Meet and Greet

Because Mary is on bed-rest we aren’t going to be able to do a large shower with our friends until after the baby comes. We will also be planning something of a meet and greet down in the midtown area so that non shower goers can come and meet Eli giving him Applause and Attention.

Until next week, I wish you all the very best.

Update

Mary and Eli are both doing well. Eli is now 3 pounds 2 ounces and is kicking away in there! We hit 30 weeks tomorrow which is a huge milestone for his health. After 29 weeks the likelihood of any big handicaps reduces drastically. 

Mommy vs. Money

Mary and I have both been praying for a way for her to stay home at least the first two years after Eli is born. Living off one income these days is very difficult but we both are putting it in God’s hands. Just recently we began to be blessed by an abundance of hand me downs from other Moms who were friends or friends of friends. All of the items are being dropped off or shipped to us and of course they are taking a huge financial burden off of us as we approach our first few months with Eli. A thank you goes out to our friends Jenny Johnson Wilburn, Kim Lutz, and Esther Thompson who have all been so kind as to give us baby clothes of varying ages. We love you guys!!! A separate thank you to Sarah Craig and family who bought our first two items from our registry. 

I know that God will continue to work in our lives and we will be able to make a single income stretch as far as necessary.

Facial and Pedicure

We were visited by the Clowdus family for a day last weekend and Mary was treated to a full facial and pedicure. A thank you to Katherine, Emma, Sophie and Maddie Rose for making Mary feel wonderful and beautiful during her time on bed rest.

No Ga-news is Good Ga-News 

This week was very uneventful. I love that. A week without any huge issues popping up was a great thing. Though it makes for a boring blog entry, it makes for an easier time being on bed rest. Our love goes out to our friends and family and we will see you next time :)

The bedding has finally arrived. I was on cloud nine for hours after we opened this bedding and looked at it in the nursery. Mary put up with me very well :)

Sorry everyone for the delay in updating the Baby Coaster blog. I got wrapped up in some very fun baby related things and few non baby related as well. Here we go…

Eli and Mary

Mary and Eli are both doing great! I think Mary is starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel for her bed rest and Eli is growing at the right pace. The doctor did notice that Mary’s cervix shortened a little bit since last week and so he is starting a round of steroid injections to make Eli’s lungs stronger in case he comes early. None of us are really worried that there is any more risk that there has been previously but it sure does add a level of calm knowing that if he did come early there would be a lot less chance he would have any serious health issues. 

Furniture Furniture Furniture

Mary and I found an amazing deal on a Nursery bedroom suit. We found it on craigslist for $500. Of course we didn’t have the money to afford it, but we also couldn’t pass up the offer. A family who was preparing to move from Atlanta to California had put up for sale a nice crib, glider, ottoman, dresser, changing table and other assorted items. It was something that saved us at the very least $600 in the near future and assured us of a full Nursery suite. My main argument against the purchase was that we should put the items on our registry at Target and then we wouldn’t break the bank. I was quickly reminded by several friends and family that you don’t always get everything on your registry and people won’t necessarily choose items from the registry to buy you. We could end up spending the same amount of money later on for not nearly as much. I agreed that the craigslist seemed the best way to go. We now have a gorgeous nursery and both of us love staring at it set up to receive Eli when he comes home.

Clothing makes us Sentimental 

A friend gave us a box of boy clothes ranging from 0 to 9 months. Mary and I sat on her bed going through the items one at a time, holding them up in the air to each other, squealing, tearing up, laughing, hugging each other and then moving on to the next tiny pair of corduroys or onesie. We cannot wait to get the little guy home and start our lives together. I have been doing a lot of thinking and praying about the first few months when we won’t sleep and will be walking around as zombies attempting to care for a tiny alien. It wasn’t long before my worry was replaced by a sense of peace. 

Daddy Boot Camp

Thanks to Mary I was able to sign up for a Daddy Boot Camp at Northside Hospital. Our group was made up of about 14 men of varying ages and nationalities. I walked in with a good attitude and walked out with new knowledge of how to swaddle, change, soothe and burp a baby. I now know more about Post Partum depression and how to help my wife deal with it whether it is simple baby blues or full blown depression. All of the men told stories about their own fathers and how that affected their vision as a soon to be father themselves. Most of the men either wanted to be like their Dad or wanted to be nothing at all like their Dad. I met them in the middle. My biological father gave up on my mom and me and was the kind of man who didn’t pay his child support. My adoptive father who entered the picture when I was 5 years old, is a kind man who was present at all of my activities growing up and showed me that men didn’t have to run away. Consequently my view of fatherhood is kindness, firmness, guidance and being present in his life. Love you Dad.

Registry

It is now my opinion that registries should not be created by the people who are getting married or going to have a baby. They should be crafted by someone who has had at least 2 children. Neither of us could figure out exactly what we “needed” when it came to welcoming a baby home. A very wise friend of ours said to us… “Don’t over-complicate this. They need a place to sleep, a way to stay warm, food to eat, and diapers to poop in. Everything else isn’t worth stressing over.” And so we stressed anyway, but not as much as we had before. We found the things that we thought would really help us out but, if we didn’t get them all, wouldn’t leave us stranded. Now that it is done I definitely feel relieved. I also love looking at it and envisioning our new baby using each of the items. I’m a big softie, I know. 

28 week Ultrasound
This is by far my favorite ultrasound. The profile is do clear it is almost like a regular photo.

Checkup

This week’s checkup went great! The doctor believes that Mary may even be able to skip a few weeks without coming in for visits as nothing has changed for the past month. The baby is now two pounds and is still measuring a week ahead. The doctors are ready with steroids for his lungs if we begin to see danger signs of early delivery, but so far so good. 

Little Liza Jane

In the search for a baby name you can really get your head to spinning. We’ve played with the names Kyle, Quinn, Alexander, James, Jacob, Elijah and so on, letting each one roll around in our mouths like a hard candy from a “variety pack.” We put the names in different orders, trying each out as a first name, a middle name, back to front and so on until finally we came to one we thought was perfect. 

In talking to my Mom and Dad this week I decided to spring the name on them and hear how wonderful they thought it was. 

“Ok, what is it?” My mother inquired.

“Elijah James!” I said. 

Silence. Then she said, “It sounds a lot like Liza Jane.”

“Who is Liza Jane?” I asked, feeling a bit perturbed that they hadn’t jumped up and down squealing at the name.

“You know… The Song… Little Liza Jane.” Said my father.

My wife spoke up, “Yes! See! I thought it sounded like Liza Jane!”

I of course had never heard of this song. When the conversation had ended and Mary and I were back to our normal lives, we looked it up on youtube. It was indeed a song. A country song. A song that everyone by me seems to know. And with this news I heard the faint whisper slowly growing to a bellow in the depths of my mind. “You can’t. You simply cannot name your child Elijah James. He will never forgive you. He will have people singing Liza Jane to him at school. It will become a nickname. You cannot do this.”

I spoke this new truth to my wife and she agreed. We took our short list of names and ran it through again, looking to replace Jane, I mean James with something less song worthy.  

Elijah Jacob? No. Elijah Kyle? No. Elijah Alexander? … YES! That’s it! Perfect!

And so, as quick as that we decided on the name. I reported this new find to my mother who said “Oh wonderful! I don’t know any songs that sound like Elijah Alexander!”

The New Stroller

On my arrival home this Friday night I found a very large box blocking my path. I knew exactly what it was and I must say I was way more excited than I should have been. I mean, it wasn’t our new baby in the box… just a stroller. But excited I was as I shoved this wrapped monolith down our narrow hallway to our living-room. 

When we opened it and put it together, the vision of our new baby grew stronger in my mind’s eye. Stronger even than seeing him on the ultrasound monitor each week. Stronger than when I read through our blank baby journal. Stronger than watching boys and their dads cross the street from the parking lot to the little league field near my house. Looking down at the tiny straps and the attachable car seat, it was almost like he was already here and strapped in ready for a “ride.”

Not only is the stroller magnificent as a vision inducer, but it is a great piece of craftsmanship in its own right. Strong, sturdy, attractive and functional, I can now picture this motor-less vehicle being the center point to every trip to the park, every walk in our neighborhood. Such a great idea it was to go ahead and open it now. So very excited. 

Mary’s last visit went well. The baby is healthy, Mary is healthy, the doctor looked healthy, I am healthy… all in all we were one healthy bunch. Mary’s bed rest continues but that didn’t surprise any of us. The ultrasound tech gave us another set of pictures that we have added to our “book o’ ultrasounds.” 

As the new year approached, Mary and I have been thinking not only of how we wish to make our own lives better but also how we wish to impart certain ideas or values to our child. It has been a great experience for me to back and forth things that each of us wonders about, and how we each think we might broach topics with our child. 

The most interesting of these for me,  is the concept of correcting a child for doing things that are inappropriate in public. How do you tell a child that something they are doing is not acceptable without them attaching shame to the act? We both want to make sure that we aren’t always using “because I said so” for every encounter. 

I think it all boils down to a single concept: Once you are around other people you are now have the ability to positively or negatively affect their mental state.  We should be respectful around others and allow them to be comfortable and worry free. 

So how do you impress upon a child that there is a difference between “don’t do that!” and “don’t do that HERE.” These types of questions are exciting and scary and perplexing all at once. 

Feel free to comment below! See you next week :)

When you work in an office of more than one hundred people it becomes impossible to walk from one end of the office to the other without being asked at least ten times  ”How is Mary?”  For a while I was attempting to give a different answer to each person, you know, to keep from going crazy repeating myself. It had the reverse effect. I couldn’t come up with that many ways to say “She is very very bored.” Recently I switched tactics and I came up with a script.

Co-worker: How is Mary?

Me: She’s good! She and the baby are healthy. Bored out of her mind of course. Shes got lots of books, magazines, shows, puzzles and games to keep her going, but eventually you get tired of all of those things too. She wishes she could get up and do all of the things that she knows need to be done but of course she can’t. Some people are bringing her dinner and giving her a bit of company which helps a lot. We know it is all for the best cause possible and it will be over before we know it.

This script gets all of the bases covered and also lets people know what they can do to help all in the same paragraph. It is personal and detailed without cumulatively taking me an hour to get from one side of the office to the other.

We are now at week 23. This means that on Christmas day we will hit the 24th week and the baby will be “viable.” This basically means that the baby will be capable of staying alive outside the womb. It is the best Christmas gift I can hope for.

Doctors are talking about steroids for the baby’s lungs in case he comes early and Mary is feeling more and more baby kicks. I’m a little jealous to be honest. When she says she is feeling the baby kick I run immediately to her side and put my hands on her belly. Each time I do this, Mary politely sighs, pauses and then says “Honey… He is still too small. You won’t be able to feel him yet.” This of course does not stop me from trying the very next time she says she can feel the baby kicking.

Mary is growing more and more tired of being in the bed and is tired FROM being in the bed. Her energy peeters out with the simplest tasks out of bed and I can tell she is at the end of her rope with it. Everyone tells her to enjoy the rest while she can get it, but obviously these people have never been overly rested to the point of strangling the nearest person who walks by.

All in all we are trucking right along. Things are good. God is good. Cake is good.

I don’t know what it is about monkeys and turtles but they just scream “little boy” to me. I think if you left the shopping up to me, our child would wear nothing but monkey-turtle apparel.

I didn’t buy this. I really wanted to but I remained resolute. Plus I don’t know what all of the baby items are and how many we need. Does a baby need one baby blanket? Five? Twenty? Are they like handkerchiefs? (Did you know handkerchief has the word hand in it? I didn’t till this post :) Or are they singular and special in that “my blankee” sort of way?

It is hard being sans Mary when I am out.

I wasn’t at all surprised when my Mom texted me this pic. She gets as excited as I do about things and she couldn’t help herself running out and buying onesies for the baby. She likes the name Kyle a lot which was our #1 pick. Hopefully she will forgive us if we go with something else.

This was also great proof for Mary, who thought that there “weren’t any cute clothes for boys.”